Teens and Parents
What should I do? Some advice for concerned parents
What parents can do?
Communication with your children and teenagers is the first important tool to use as a concerned parent. You should endeavour to "stay in touch" with your offspring. Let them know continually that you care. Demonstration that they are loved and an important part of your life as a parent and that they are important to the family. Try to be their friend. Let them know that you only seek to guide them, not continually criticise. You only want the best for them.
Be ever vigilant. Know your teenager. Without being intrusive in an offensive fashion, remember that they are going through an age of discovery. Finding out about themselves and the world we all live in. Remember, that they maybe experimenting with drugs and receiving peer pressure from associates at school, work or whilst at sporting functions. There is no perceived equal to the pressure from peers.
Can a parent tell if their child is using drugs?
It is considered that water bottles and pacifiers can be signs of drug abuse and that the best place to find information on raves or drugs is the internet.
Testing your child in the privacy of your own home with a simple urine sample drug screening kit is the surest way of confirming your suspicions. There is now a growing trend of testing in the home at random, in an agreed partnership between parents and child. Contact us for this service.
Some warning signs and symptoms of drug use may include:-
- Decline in school work of after school sporting activities.
- Changes in attendance and being unwilling to take part in school or other group activities.
- Unusual outbreaks of temper, mood swings, restlessness or irritability.
- More time being spent away from home, possibly with new friends or with friends in older age groups.
- Excessive spending or borrowing of money.
- Stealing money or goods
- Excessive tiredness without obvious cause.
- No interest in physical appearance.
- Sores or rashes, especially on the mouth or nose.
- Lack of appetite.
- Blood shot eyes.
- Wearing sunglasses at inappropriate times (to hide dilated or constricted pupils.)
- Use of drug takers slang.
- Being the subject of rumours about drug taking.
- Having friends who use drugs.
Many of the mentioned signs and symptoms can be signs of normal aspects of adolescent behaviour. They can all be result of something other than drug use.
- The same drug can produce different effects in different people.
- The same drug can produce different effects in the same person at different times.
- The "signs" of drug use may be nothing more than an unconfirmed rumour and your worst imagination.
LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOUR TEENAGER. DON'T JUST TELL THEM.
There is no substitute for talking and listening to your child. If your child is behaving oddly and you are worried about the possibility of drugs - listen carefully to what they have to say. Communication is the key with your children.
What to do if you really suspect your child may be using drugs
The first principle is to keep calm and check your facts.
Remember, it is important to communicate with your child, rather than just trying to spot the "hidden signs and symptoms".
If you have found a suspicious substance or object, take care not to jump to the wrong conclusions.
You will need to inform yourself about drugs and their use. Don't rush off to tell your child about the dangers of drug use, you may find that they know more about them than you.
Familiarize yourself with common street names of various drugs.
Try not to give into fear or anger. Instead give yourself time to think about the true position and remain calm.
What to do if you find illegal drugs or equipment for drugs in the house.
Discuss what you have found and decide together what to do, which should include your child immediately disposing of the drug.
Or, deliver the drugs to a person lawfully entitled to take custody of them; that is the Police.
What to do if your child comes home stoned, high or drunk?
Keep CALM. Anger is a natural response, but it can make things worse.
If they are having difficulty staying awake, don't let them "sleep it off", they maybe in danger of a potential fatal overdose or chocking on their own vomit even on alcohol.
If they are agitated or disorientated, try to calm them down.
If they literally pass out and you cannot awake them, you must place them into the recovery position on their side and telephone immediately for an ambulance on 000. Monitor their breathing, making sure that their airway is not blocked.
Leave discussion about the rights and wrongs of the situation until the following day. You will be a lot calmer and they will have recovered and be sober.
The day after is the day to discuss rules for living together. You have the right to not have your house disrupted by drunken or stoned behaviour.
Most importantly, find out the underlying reason for the usage. Could it be lack of understanding, not feeling loved or peer pressure?
What to do if your child is using drugs and alcohol and does not see any harm in it.
This can be very difficult to cope with. Despite your best efforts your child is using drugs or alcohol. They enjoy it and if you tell them not to, they ignore you.
Ask them to describe to you just what it is they are getting from their drug use.
Make it clear to them that you want to try to understand it from their point of view.
You will need to set some clear rules if drugs are being used in your home. Depending upon what type of drugs your child is using and their methods of use, you might want to establish if they are using in the least harmful way possible. A harm reduction approach is one most often used by counselling and intervention organisations.
It should also be stressed that in most cases the use of drugs will be 'recreational'. Most young people using drugs today are those using cannabis, cocaine, Methamphetamines (includes speed and ecstasy) and alcohol on nights out at raves, parties and at clubs.
Most of these users will take good care of each other and themselves and come to no immediate harm. This is not to say that they are using illegal substances or abuse legal drugs. Long term usage and heavy use may not lead to long term damage.
Sometimes when your child is completely wrong they have to learn for themselves and make their own mistakes. In many cases there is no way they are going to do as you say or not do something on your say so alone.
Try to locate someone your child respects and is able communicate with them about the potential dangers of continuing their lifestyle with a threat. Communication with you child is paramount. It must continue. They need you help and continuing love and understanding.
Finally,
Don't close the door on further discussion with you child even if eye to eye communication with them is not working.
Leave them with the understanding that you will be always there for them and strive to keep the lines of communications open for them. Some drug users fail to maintain that communication with their parents.
Points of view are often different; however, it does not mean that communications should stop. All problems can be treated with the right approach and care. With agreement between teenagers and parents as to appropriate steps it may well be suitable to use a Urine Test Kit, to help solve ongoing arguments and concern. If non negative results are identified, using counselling and ongoing testing as a monitoring tool. Dependency issues can be treated and positive changes can be made. Knowing which substance is being used has advantages for appropriate treatment. It helps take the guess work out of the equation.
Early intervention and identification of possible drug use is vital.
Using the LaneWorkSafe Six Panel Rapid Urine Test Kit, which will indicate a result to the six common drugs, Marijuana, Cocaine, Heroin, Speed and some over the counter drugs in under three (3) minutes, can be helpful. Armed with this knowledge valued decisions and appropriate plans of action can be formulated.
LaneWorkSafe can be consulted on your next step.
LaneWorkSafe records of purchase are kept on a strictly confidential basis and for account keeping purposes only.
LaneWorkSafe know and understand the seriousness of drug abuse. However, we believe that through proper management most drug issues can be treated and change can be introduced.
The Six Panel Rapid Test Kits are available through LaneWorkSafe on line at a very reasonable cost. Normally, delivery is within 24 hours.
Remember, remaining calm and listening is a more sensible approach and then taking practical, vital action. By entering into a sensible quasi contract with your teenagers and accepting there is an issue requiring intervention, a positive outcome is more achievable.
Some online resources for Teens and Parents:
http://www.mediacampaign.org
National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign (USA).
http://www.theantidrug.com
Parents. The Anti-Drug.
Behind Closed Doors
Article from "The Age" on drug abuse in Bendigo.
Behind Closed Doors (Flash)
Report on drug abuse in Bendigo by The Age (requires Macromedia Flash).
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